I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
