can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize