the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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