My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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