u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
