CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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