Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
