Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
