i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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