wakey wakey hands off snakey
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize