took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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