My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Ladies don't puke and tell
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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