You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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