I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots