There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's shark week go big or go home
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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