Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I think i peed on brittanys purse
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
