Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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