When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
