i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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