I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
