At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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