Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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