So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
