But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I am spending my child support on dildos
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
