So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The feeling are messing with the penis
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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