I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
