He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
