Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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