I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
There's always time for handjobs
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
