the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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