Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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