wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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