i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
