all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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