fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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