I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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