Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
