I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
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I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
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Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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