Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
