i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
