is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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