apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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