I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
