Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
