Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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