Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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