The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
