I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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