Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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