We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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