I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He passed out mid-signature
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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