I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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