clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
