I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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