i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
