my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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