I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
